A year ago, yesterday, we released our 3rd full length record by the name of, 'brand new eyes'. It was a really important day for us because this was the record that was going to show people that after all the bullshit we'd put ourselves through, we weren't going to go anywhere.
The tour that we had scheduled was to start on the 29th of September and only be about a month long. It was to kick off this album and get back in front of our very own fans in the states after a long year of overseas travel and a big summer opening up for No Doubt. So we got to Pomona the morning of the 29th and were ready to prove to people that we were back and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Only problem is I didn't have a voice. Like, at all.
I was convinced that it was all mental - only in my head - and we took the stage that night anyways. But the way it ended left me with a bigger mental battle and serious throat problems. I walked off the stage with 3 songs left to perform and without explaining to the crowd what was going on. My voice had totally shut off and I was barely even able to speak. So after the guys came backstage to find me and figure out what was going on, I was horrified at the idea of going back out to see what Pomona thought about it. Josh assured everyone that it was the right thing to do. He was turning 22 that night. as if the night wasn't already a big enough deal to all of us.
So the guys walked back on stage, without me. Josh told the crowd that I couldn't sing and that they should sing to me, loud enough that I could hear from where I was sitting. And as they ripped into "Misery Business" and the crowd began to sing my parts, karaoke style.. I sat on the floor, in a corner backstage listening and crying like a dumb little baby.
There aren't very many moments in my life pertaining to music that I can sit back and let other people do all the work for me. I feel guilty if I'm not working just as hard if not harder than other people. It took everything in me not to run out there and just try and do something that I thought would fix it. But the most humbled I've ever been and the most grateful that I've ever felt, was when I realized there was nothing I could do. Except for just to let our fans - the people who believe in us the most. and the people we believe in - sing. How sweet the sound.
Thanks to all of our fans. It's been a year and one day. This was a life changing night for all of us and we'll never forget it. We'll keep making memories.
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