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  • bunk life
    Posted by
    Hayley
         
    November 07, 2009

    "O Lord, sink me in self that I may rise in Thee." - Spurgeon

    what humbles you? whether it's something that sort of breaks you down or really builds you up?

    i guess i'll start.
    loss of security humbles me... when i feel like the whole world is watching but no one knows me. i hate knowing that everyone can look but it's from such a distance that they get to make up their own captions and sort of say who i am on their own terms and in their own time. i'm simple. not hard to amuse... i like to laugh a lot. i like dirty jokes! and i like working my ass off. what i'm most passionate about doing puts me in a position to be judged on a daily basis and from a long way off. it's humbling because i have can't possibly have any control over that. on the other hand, i can lose my voice and walk off stage pissed at myself and then have the people in the crowd sing TO ME, instead of booing. that was an encore that i will never ever forget.

    for the past couple of days, i've been thinking a lot about my life. the things i have. the things i've lost. i've never felt so empty and full at the same time. of everything that i've gained through joining a band and leaving home the thing i'm most grateful for is the constant humility. i'm humbled by the opportunities that we're given. by trials that i face alone. the people who love me the most, who hate me the most. the fact that i'm still figuring out the difference between some of those people. there couldn't be a better way to know exactly where you stand than to fall flat on your face. it's the moments where i know i don't have any of the right answers that make me excited to have what i do. a few real friends, a family that would do anything for me, music, being in love, getting to see the world... i could never take any of it for granted cause i don't deserve to have it so easy.

    okay so again, what humbles you? the good and the bad.

    - hayley

    ps. can't believe this tour is almost over..

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Hayley's picture
Submitted by Hayley
on November 7, 2009 - 10:27pm

"O Lord, sink me in self that I may rise in Thee." - Spurgeon

what humbles you? whether it's something that sort of breaks you down or really builds you up?

i guess i'll start.
loss of security humbles me... when i feel like the whole world is watching but no one knows me. i hate knowing that everyone can look but it's from such a distance that they get to make up their own captions and sort of say who i am on their own terms and in their own time. i'm simple. not hard to amuse... i like to laugh a lot. i like dirty jokes! and i like working my ass off. what i'm most passionate about doing puts me in a position to be judged on a daily basis and from a long way off. it's humbling because i have can't possibly have any control over that. on the other hand, i can lose my voice and walk off stage pissed at myself and then have the people in the crowd sing TO ME, instead of booing. that was an encore that i will never ever forget.

for the past couple of days, i've been thinking a lot about my life. the things i have. the things i've lost. i've never felt so empty and full at the same time. of everything that i've gained through joining a band and leaving home the thing i'm most grateful for is the constant humility. i'm humbled by the opportunities that we're given. by trials that i face alone. the people who love me the most, who hate me the most. the fact that i'm still figuring out the difference between some of those people. there couldn't be a better way to know exactly where you stand than to fall flat on your face. it's the moments where i know i don't have any of the right answers that make me excited to have what i do. a few real friends, a family that would do anything for me, music, being in love, getting to see the world... i could never take any of it for granted cause i don't deserve to have it so easy.

okay so again, what humbles you? the good and the bad.

- hayley

ps. can't believe this tour is almost over..

Comments

Anna_39's picture

October 17, 2010 - 9:13am — Anna_39
What humbles me? That's a good question. I guess I'd frist have to figure out who this ME is, you know? I guess it humbles me when I see little kids watching TV shows where the screenwriters have anonymously slipped in some very innappropriate comments and they don't laugh because they don't get it. Innocence in general humbles me, and we can find innocence in anyone; even if their sould has been tainted with evil, there is always an invisible balance. Sometimes the scales tip one way, and sometimes the other, but they are never permanently tipped to one side because after you take everything off the scales, it balances itself out in the end. Am I making any sense here, or am I getting too Jedi mind game-y? Anyway (she says, giving herself a mental shake), I meant to say that innocence humbles me. The undercurring power behind certain, special music- namely yours- humbles me.The balance between good and evil humbles me. The fact that I must in fact die one day, whether I'm ready or not humbles me. And the unspoken words that flow through the air like electrical currents from person to person humbles me, because its source is innumerable, untraceable, and invalueable. Have a nice day, Hayley : ), and tell Zac and Taylor and Josh and the others to as well.
RAWR I AM TORI's picture

September 11, 2010 - 12:12am — RAWR I AM TORI
What humbles me? Jesus humbles me, and I humble myself, for I am a servant leader and will help those in need at anytime! Music humbles me, and my awesome friends who love me so much, but mostly all these funny and halarious guys I actually get to hang out with!! Plus me talent humbles me in a way I'll never fully understand, without my super ninja artskillz I have no idea who I would be. That prospect scares me actually! Anyways that was long!! lol
Lauren weber's picture

August 7, 2010 - 3:22am — Lauren weber
I would never judge you. what humbles me is that i don't care if i'm rich or not, i love music. I have a huge fam, yea it would be hard leaving them but if travling all over to play drums with my band is wat i love im doin. I'm saying this now but it might not workout. I'll let God figure it out for me. My cuzin iz in a band we barley get to c him but thats his life
isaiahdickey's picture

July 30, 2010 - 4:13pm — isaiahdickey
What humbles me is the life that i live compared to those that are famous. Sometimes i feel that my life would be better if i had fame and fortune but i also think about how i wouldnt be able to see my family and my friends. I learned that if I'm meant to be on stage and be famous that's what I'm meant to do, or if I'm meant to stay at home and stay out of the spotlight then that's what I'm meant to do. It's hard to not know what ur destined to do in life but that's what humbles me, to know that someone greater is in control and he will do whats best.
mmarinasmith's picture

June 22, 2010 - 8:08pm — mmarinasmith
hello hayley..:(
ParamoreFanUK's picture

June 8, 2010 - 2:10am — ParamoreFanUK
Alot of things humble me. For instance this......just everything. What humbles me is the unknown, and what we have yet to discover and understand. I mean, when I think of absolutely everything in existence, or even not in existence (I don't know) and then when I think of our little world, I can't help but feel alone, and lost. It's like something went wrong, and we all ended up here. I can't really explain it. But I agree with you, Hayley, it's humbling to think people can make a judgement when they don't even know you. Some people don't even know what they're talking about when they make judgement, for instance when that bitch wrote that article about you and you supposedly having bad skin (which I think is neither a problem or anything to do with her, it doesn't even matter) I couldn't believe it. How she could judge like that. I don't even know. I'm pretty sure I'm talking about the same encore as you, but I saw the video on youtube, and it was heartbreaking, but it just shows how much people care about you and how many people believe in you as a person. Is that not passing judgement too? But good judgement of course. People love you and aspire to be like you, so who cares about what everyone else thinks? You have so many people to back you up. You're one hell of a musician, and you've changed my life in so many different ways. You and the band deserve everything you have for making everyone feel the way they do when they hear your music. Don't ever give up. Remember, you're just getting started hahahaha :D
mellovesparamore_4's picture

April 22, 2010 - 3:11pm — mellovesparamore_4
you humble me hayley
yckeb14's picture

April 18, 2010 - 5:03pm — yckeb14
it humbles me to know I have God watching over me through even the roughest times. It also humbles me to have bands like you who talk about these things and make it easier for other people to open up about these things too.
Katerade's picture

April 12, 2010 - 11:00pm — Katerade
what humbles me? 1. being on stage, dancing in front of people that have never met me and are there for the sole purpose of judging me. knowing that they only see me for the 2 minutes I'm out there and that's their entire impression of me. 2. losing anyone/thing. pretty humbling to know that you have no way in hell of knowing what's going on after you're gone. Heaven? Hell? Another life? Nothing at all? who knows? that just shows you how small we are. 3. seeing how, through my 18 years, I've barely begun life but I've been through so much. I've experienced happiness, sadness, disappointments, and opportunities that other people might not have gotten. and why? because I was (un)lucky? Because I stand out? Because I try hard/give up at something? Or maybe I didn't even deserve it. 4. seeing how other people have so much less than me and are grateful for what they have. I see how I act sometimes when I don't get what I want or just can't have something, but then you see other less fortunate people and go, "oh...well, they don't even have a place to live...I'm a spoiled little shit" (or something along those lines) that's all I can think of for now I guess haha.
MusicIsTheReason's picture

March 28, 2010 - 10:22am — MusicIsTheReason
This blog is waaaaay old now, but anyway... I guess what humbles me the most is the fact that bad things are always going to happen to you whether your a good person or not. but being a good person makes it somewhat easier to deal with things when they come your way. you'll have people who like and respect you there to help you out. someone who doesnt care about others cant possibly expect others to care about them. Also the fact that good things can happen if you have the right attitude. If you focus on the good, the bad won't hurt so much. And the good? Well, the other day, my dad who left when I was two, told me he was proud of me. Thats something I'm thankful for, and something I will keep in my heart when the next tidal wave comes-and it will give me back my "bring it on" attitude to anything bad.
Amyface's picture

February 21, 2010 - 8:53pm — Amyface
i'm humbled by what you wrote, your so connected to your fans that it puts all the oter top bands to shame as they seem to not have this sort of connection. i truely rspect you and your band, and i hope you keep making music as well as you do now.
Courtney_33's picture

February 6, 2010 - 9:35am — Courtney_33
You basically answered the question 4 me
Jenn_2_2's picture

January 17, 2010 - 8:32am — Jenn_2_2
I truly respect you Hay. You're a fab. And you always makes sense, you know that.
Ryanetta's picture

January 13, 2010 - 6:38pm — Ryanetta
Hayley, you're so deep. =D
Independence's picture

January 6, 2010 - 6:37pm — Independence
It humbles me to know that I had in my hands the power of maintain HIM by my side, but such selfiness played tricks on me. It may be quite infantil, but this is what humbles me day by day. I could say many 'fan things', but just think that you have changed so many lifes... you may not be aware, but for some people, where i'm included, listening to your voice, your lyrics... i would be dead long ago. Thanks for singing you lil Spongebob :)
LordReserei's picture

January 1, 2010 - 7:50pm — LordReserei
Never seeking recognition, always staying true myself and being loyal to those I care about while never judging anyone for their actions, views or beliefs. Yet, some people are quick to judge me and I say nothing as well as do nothing for no matter how I wish it could be different I may never be able to change it. The ability to connect and understand people emotionally but am never understood by others or they can't connect with me. A lot of the things you mentioned yourself Hayley are similar to what humbles me and the few things I've listed are some that I feel personally which are both good and bad from certain perspectives and points of view. There's more, but I think I'll leave it there. ;-) Mike, Nottingham, England
jaderivera's picture

December 26, 2009 - 11:36am — jaderivera
what humbles me is that...i dun let myself fall into prey of those who doesnt respect me and are doing everything to get me down on my knees begging them to stop.. wad humbles me is that i dunt judge a person..for example.. paramore and green day are competing in an award.. i wuldnt say " oh i hate greenday cos their reducing the chances of paramore's shot in the awards" cos why?.. i cant judge them jus bcos their reducing the chances of my fave band in the awards.. i take it that greeenday have great albums and singles and also take it that paramore has been nominated! so theres a sense of satisfaction and success!.. and the obvious..we cant judge ppl ..right..^^ so its a sort of gud and bad kind of humbleness... hayley uve inspired me..FOR SERIOUS... ur diff frm the other celebs..... ur humble.. thats for sure...! u take the time to blog..equals to.. u communicate wid ur fans and dun miss out on them.... .wadever it is paramore fans will be by ur side!... us,ur band,frenz and family... peace out
Tinaz's picture

December 26, 2009 - 5:17am — Tinaz
Good: Just looking at things like the expanse of an ocean with very few people there. It's so poigiant and starkly beautiful at the same time; yet that same expanse of ocean could completely overpower us, so it should be respected. Same thing, like going about my daily life, and then seeing the side of a mountain and realizing how small I am in comparison to that and so many other things that I would do better taking in than constantly ingesting my own self-pity at times. I'm no one to refuse a pity-party if I feel I need it, but at the same time it's things like these that help get me out of my own drama for the moment and help me see the reality around me. Obviously seeing things like these give me the swift (good) kick in my heart that God is so much bigger than my mind can fathom, and that on a regular basis I probably don't see even a tenth of His greatness because I am consumed with my own stuff. Good/Bad (I haven't figured it out yet), but how life can freakin change so dramatically, in a short amount of time.... or like, I noticed how as I've gotten older over the years, I can break up my life experience into life phases .. I know I am in one "life phase" right now... and don't know what else the other life phases to come may be; and I realize that they may be way different than I can imagine them. That's humbling, to not know what's around the corner. Bad: Consequences of bad choices are humbling to me, because sometimes they can be more long term or have a more wide-spread effect than I may be aware of as I am making the bad choice... How life can be taken away in a moment's notice, how you can lose people you took for granted as always being there. But this last one is kind of a good one, because it's a good reminder for me to love and value ppl like there is no tomorrow, & to stay faithful to God b/c after this life is up, God is all I'll have and Who I'll face. Keeps things in perspective for me.
melLUVS Paramore's picture

December 25, 2009 - 4:32am — melLUVS Paramore
well if humble is suppost to be a bad thing then, whatt humbles me is when friends get judged for being 'different' or 'wierd' because of the way look or dress or talk. my friend moved to a different school and everyone there is all 'preppy' or 'in style' and my friend (her name is jennifer) said that they all look like clones, but she stands out. she is the girl that wears the heavy, dark, eye liner and the clothes that arnt the color of the rainbow. all of Jennifers teachers hate her and say that she is a bad influense on the other kids because she is different. God made us to love one another not to judge or make fun of people! we are all brothers and sisters in Gods eyes but everyone has arguments but WHY CANT PEOPLE GET OVER THE LITTLE THINGS! it dosent even matter that much!! ugh! people..... happy holidays! XOXOXOXOXOXO
Krista_10's picture

December 24, 2009 - 10:08pm — Krista_10
I guess I could say that what makes me humble is that I can't stand to make more people to get myself attached to but, I love talking to complete strangers and learning what they have to say or hearing about what they have to offer. Even when I'm wrong, I'll still do anything to prove I'm right. I love having a couple true friends and a family that puts up a fight to not fight. Because I dress 'differently' or even too original is the main reason for why I'm judged. Not believing in the things I can't see gives me an oprotunity to become more independent. I'm a slave to laughter and any joke, is a good joke. Reading for hours at a time and not even realizing it makes the day go by a whole lot faster when you think the worlds going to end just because of an itty bitty problem. Not being able to use sarcastic terms because most of the time I can barely understand it when people are saying it to me. Being who I am has it's ups and downs. Just like everyone, I have my good and bad days. And either way, I love being the way I am. -Krista(NH)
Tallach's picture

December 22, 2009 - 7:15pm — Tallach
I read that you think you deserve to have it so easy, but you do deserve it. You are one of the most beautifal people that i've seen in my live. You are so good to your fans and you deserve all the best things in life. love Glenn Bollebakker
ShartluvsParamore's picture

December 21, 2009 - 12:17am — ShartluvsParamore
ok. Hayley, I thought that show from nov. 6th at the roy wilkins was the most amazing night of my 14 year old life. You have been an influence on me since 2006-07ish to now. That was my first "real" concert and boy will it be unforgettable!!! I guess I can say that were pretty similar people. I like dirty jokes, music, and writing on stuff and making and or drawing stuff... like the birdhouses in that one bonus feat on the brand new eyes deluxe box dvd... I ordered one of those 1 of 15000 boxes... lol i was kinda pissed it said my moms name instead of mine... cuz it would have been funny if it said shart cuz thats my name!!! well, Sean Hart, but I am absolutely named shart. I had the wierdest dream last night that you guys came to my town and you signed like all my shit... It was awesome... My room has an entire wall of paramore posters and cds hung up on the wall, but i couldnt find them when someone threw them away (in my dream). BTW I am one of the most random people in the world... lola... Play in Emmetsburg Iowa USA or anywhere in Iowa... Love, Shart... PS. Please reply somehow... just so i know you're real...
Leahhhhhhhh's picture

December 20, 2009 - 3:52pm — Leahhhhhhhh
wow . that is some speech . you deep mann xxxx
amberLovesGOD's picture

December 20, 2009 - 2:25am — amberLovesGOD
Being humble is a quality that you can not have until you know Jesus Christ. Be humble, being meek, being coachable, is all a part of the Christian because you recognize that it is God Who has made your life purposeful, and then recognizing that it is through Christ that you understand what your purpose is. In the Brand New Eyes CD, I know that in the thank you's, you all included God/Jesus Christ first, and that in itself is humility, you realize that there is nothing without him, and that is beautiful and glorifying! You guys are such a blessing for me, not only through your music, but for standing up for what you believe in, and humbling yourselves to God's plan for you. Keep putting God first girl, and there will be many more blessings in store as you humble yourself to His Will. Look at all that you guys have accomplished so far! "We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers" 1Thess. 1:2 Stay strong!
sonicparacow55's picture

December 19, 2009 - 5:51pm — sonicparacow55
i respect and love you hayley!! xoxo -sophie?
hayleyrocks123's picture

December 17, 2009 - 4:01am — hayleyrocks123
Hayley I really repect you for not being afraid to let people know you. Many people say I love you but they don't even know you. From what I've learned about you from reading your blogs you seem like a decent and thoughtful person. Stay kind and don't let anyone keep you from shinning
Jerekh's picture

December 14, 2009 - 1:40am — Jerekh
Why should anyone be humbled though? If there is one thing that I've realized over the last few years, it's that people get what they deserve. Life is a constant choice, partially because we as humans have the capability to think. A plant can't choose whether it wants to survive, we can. And that is where self esteem comes in. We need to know that, since living is a matter of choice, we deserve to survive, How do we know we deserve to survive? I'm guessing that has to do with value, how much we value ourselves and our lives. I would say that the measure of that value is happiness, since only we ourselves can choose whether we should keep trucking or not. So, if happiness depends on our self esteem, anything that would humble us would not be too awesome for us, would it? I'm not saying that we should be cocky either, but we should be reasonable. If our happiness depends on choices, things that we can't make decisions about, like gravity for example, shouldn't be things that humble us. What we can make decisions about are things like "I'll have to run this fast and jump that high to get over the fence, and I am pretty sure I can do that". So don't be humbled by the night sky with a million stars in it. Be happy that you are enjoying it, be proud that through your work you've been able to buy a jacket to keep you warm while looking up, and be confident that you know that it's not going to fall on your head because you are intelligent and understand at least partially what is keeping you here and it up there. =oD P.S. Don't feel bad about what other people think of you. After all, you associate with people that you value and that you think value you for a reason, right? ;o)
cazamonsters's picture

December 13, 2009 - 4:02am — cazamonsters
in one word? Jesus. to be more verbal, i'd have to say what he does to me or just the things he does in my life. it's miraculous how he can do little things that i may look at as wrong or hurtful because its not what i wanted to happen, but they all end up being benefits. all in all, in the end those little "thorns in my side" humble me in incredible ways. -roost
Captain Blakeberry.'s picture

December 12, 2009 - 12:06pm — Captain Blakeberry.
I would have to agree with hayley, I am humbled by what i have lost in life, although still in my teens, I have been through a lot (I think i have) from losing a best friend to illness and finding out that i had to stop persuing my football (soccer for americans :P) career if i wanted to remain in the possession of the ability to walk. I am also humbled by the great friends and family i have, They would do anything just to see me happy again, and i would do the same for them, which i frequently do. Finally i am humbled by music, I think that trying to be a footballer is the hardest thing, but you only need to be able to run and kick a ball effectively, and when i go to gigs (i go to a lot of gigs) I see what real talents and confidence is. I am not exactly a confident person, but to see people to play infront of thousands of people, I really admire people that can do that. And thanks for playing Glasgow 12/10/2009,You guys were amazing!
ABIakaPOP's picture

December 11, 2009 - 12:12pm — ABIakaPOP
it humbles me when someone opens theyre feelings to me, i find it so hard to do that and it makes me think about all the times ive bein silently upset and i felt like screeming but i couldnt beacuse i felt like no one understood. hv fun playin tonite bye xxx

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