well, we only have a couple days left to go. i feel like we just got here... and already i'm deciding what i should pack up and take home (vs. what i'm going to trash and pretend i don't care about). we've been living in a "band house" out here... all 5 of us, plus salty Brandon. it's a modest but reasonably comfortable place. i tried to make it cozy. a candle here, a poster there. i never got around to actually haaanging the poster but it sits decoratively on my dresser. i hardly packed any clothes. i guess i knew i would shop... and i did, a little. like i needed any more tshirts! all in all, packing won't be hard, so maybe i can put off thinking about that 'til the morning we fly out. that's what i usually do anyways.
today was the start of all the press for the new record. what a wake-up call! it's been a while since we've done real press and had people really drilling us... i have to say it was kind of fun talking about the new songs... but i don't think we'll ever get completely used to it. all in all, having to answer questions about the lyrics, the energy, the entire process in general, was a good way to get even more comfortable with the record we made. oh and another thing, i only had to answer one question about my hair the whole time. score.
so about these songs. what can i say? i'm stoked! i can't wait for people to hear what we've done. like it or not, i'm prouder than ever. mostly because i don't believe it happened. we made a record that is exactly what we set out to make. there's fast, there's slow, and in-between... happy, angry, desperate and over it. and i can't believe it's real.
when i started writing for the album, i was really nervous about my role and what my opinions were worth now-a-days. i figured, who is going to care what i have to say? we had a pretty successful record, we tour in a bus, buddy-up with mtv, and we recorded for the twilight soundtrack... no one wants to hear me whine. especially now! but hey, i still have a lot to say. i'm still capable of getting hurt... and capable of hurting other people... i'm still human, so i have to get it all out. i ignored the insecurities and then all the sudden, the songs were done. then, i found myself looking back on the beginning of this process as if it never existed. like the songs were just there the whole time.
most of the songs you'll hear have to do with friendship. in fact, this is the first paramore album that wasn't written mostly about love relationships. i have made a lot of friends and i've lost a lot of friends over the past couple years... and it's all gonna be there for you to dissect. i think, too, that the past couple years were some of the first times in a while that i've felt the burn of other people's ignorance... a lack of patience and a quickness to judge. it forced me to "grow up" and realize what's real. who's worth the pain and who's not. i'm most proud of these lyrics because they were the healer. a couple of these songs and their lyrics acted like some kind of therapist... forcing our band to talk out the true issues we've dealt with.. both as a band and personally. i owe a lot to these songs! of course, i'm nervous about putting it all out there on the table... but what else is there to do!? i'm just as excited to hear people's thoughts.
i gotta get to bed. more posts later!
love,
hayls bayls. (hells bells, get it?)
ps. "you don't deserve a point of view if the only thing you see is you"
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