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hi, i wrote this song and wanted to know what people think,thx.

  • hi, i wrote this song and wanted to know what people think,thx.
    brick_by_boring_becka says(Apr 20, 2010)
    Edited on March 30, 2012

    hi i wrote this song and wanted to know what people think. ive writen others but this is the 1st one i've put on here.  if its crap then tell me so i can improve it or strat over. and what should i change? (by the way if there is spelling mistakes, sorry. I cant spell to save my life)

     

    ALIVE

     

    I sacrificed my life for you/ but you never said thankyou/ you dicided my fate/ running around for you/ but so far you lost in your lies/ your feet in your shoes are just, running away from truth.

     

    Chorus -   But since your gone/i've never felt so Alive/dead of my dispise/ cuz when you hit you hit real hard/ but now thats gone im like...

     

    The dreams go further than i thought they would/ when i broke free from no hope and misery/ it was a million miles away/but who said?/ the impossible is possible/not you, you never cared or gave a damn about/ dreams and wished, hopes and lies/playing the blame game

    CHORUS

     

    it was hard at first/ thought id have to go back/ but the light at the end of the tunnel came closer to me/ you became a speck of dust/ hard for me to find/ you dissapeard, day by day

    Since your gone/ ive never felt so alive/ dead of my dispise but now thats gone/ ive never felt so alive/ dead of my dispise/cuz when you hit you hit real hard at first/ thought id have to go back/ but the light at the end of the tunnel came closer to me? you became a speack of dust/ hard for me to find/ you dissapeared, day by day...

     

    Thats it. tell my what you think. it still needs work on the ending and stuff though. :)

     

    24
    Forum category:
brick_by_boring_becka's picture
on April 20, 2010 - 4:25pm

hi i wrote this song and wanted to know what people think. ive writen others but this is the 1st one i've put on here.  if its crap then tell me so i can improve it or strat over. and what should i change? (by the way if there is spelling mistakes, sorry. I cant spell to save my life)

 

ALIVE

 

I sacrificed my life for you/ but you never said thankyou/ you dicided my fate/ running around for you/ but so far you lost in your lies/ your feet in your shoes are just, running away from truth.

 

Chorus -   But since your gone/i've never felt so Alive/dead of my dispise/ cuz when you hit you hit real hard/ but now thats gone im like...

 

The dreams go further than i thought they would/ when i broke free from no hope and misery/ it was a million miles away/but who said?/ the impossible is possible/not you, you never cared or gave a damn about/ dreams and wished, hopes and lies/playing the blame game

CHORUS

 

it was hard at first/ thought id have to go back/ but the light at the end of the tunnel came closer to me/ you became a speck of dust/ hard for me to find/ you dissapeard, day by day

Since your gone/ ive never felt so alive/ dead of my dispise but now thats gone/ ive never felt so alive/ dead of my dispise/cuz when you hit you hit real hard at first/ thought id have to go back/ but the light at the end of the tunnel came closer to me? you became a speack of dust/ hard for me to find/ you dissapeared, day by day...

 

Thats it. tell my what you think. it still needs work on the ending and stuff though. :)

 

Forum category: 
BigBy's picture

hey its awesome nice work!!

Chicken calls me Jenn-Jenn's picture

awesome u get a thumbs up and a pat on the back! i like the song story of my life

laurieparamore's picture

awesome!!! your song is really good =)

brick_by_boring_becka's picture

hey, thanx everyone that commented on my song. it means alot. :) glad you all liked it. i still think it could be better and im trying to get a better ending. thanx again x

paraoli97's picture

good song

Nail Clippers's picture

awesome i loved it

unnamed.'s picture

I agree with Katlyn.
As song as awesome as this can be plagiarized.

Nice work. Keep it up. :)

Katlyn_2's picture

nice, but watch out. someone might try to steal it.

dominator's picture

it sounds nice. is it about some1 specific? btw u might want 2 check some spelling.

parawhore95_5's picture

WOW :)
I love it !

ParamoreFanEmilie's picture

pretty good! is it supposed to be fast or slow?

Nora☆'s picture

I like the kinda deep dark lyrics THIS IS GREAT!:)

violet cullen's picture

very good! a few spelling errors like you said there would be, but otherwise, well done.

..._3's picture

nice..very nice..:D

paramore♥rox's picture

I like it. I like the chorus. It's so catchy =)

melLUVS Paramore's picture

i would totaly sing this for you!!! that is unless you can sing lol my dream is to become a singer and not to sound self senterd but im realy good! well thats what my friends say... haha talk to me!! heres my profile URL http://www.paramore.net/member/i/299690/

simthecat.'s picture

that was awesomee! haha, i feel ashamed of my writing now! haha. but it was great: )

Bornforthis13's picture

that is so good. you sholud make a video of you singing and post it

christimelow's picture

its great

Gráinne's picture

you totally rock!! i could never write a song!

Bonjour's picture

I liked it!

Withthesuninmyface's picture

i love it! you're awesome :)

The Boy Who Sold The World's picture

Do you have any music for it?

abisnail's picture

awesome my friend :0