Hayley's Solo Kerrang! Interview

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(20091209T155602Z )

Note: my scanner has broken. So I took photos anyway and they came out okay. Took me about 2 hours to type but I got there. So to all you outside of the UK, enjoy! (:

Just a girl.

Words: Paul Brannigan

Photos: Dave Willis

With her 21st birthday fast approaching and her band about to play the biggest UK tour ever, Paramore frontwoman Hayley Williams talks love, those pregnancy romours, and why she definitley doesn't "want to be a role model" in a rare and exclusive solo interview...

As Hayley Williams walks through the Target superstore, a mobile phone glued to one ear, boyfriend (and New Found Glory guitarist) Chad Gilbert by her side, no-one stops and stares, no-one sidles over and whispers “Hey, aren’t you... that girl?” To fellow shoppers, Hayley Williams is just another pretty young woman stocking up on supplies. Which suits Paramore’s 20-year-old vocalist just fine.

It’s a beautiful Friday afternoon in Los Angeles, and Hayley and Chad are enjoying some rare hang time together. Paramore’s U.S. headlining tour in support of their third album Brand New Eyes ended just two nights ago at the Hollywood Palladium, and Hayley now finds herself with two free weeks before she and bandmates Josh and Zac Farro (guitar and drums respectively), Jeremy Davis (bass) and Taylor York (guitar) jet off to Helsinki, Finland, to begin a 15-date European tour.

“Two weeks off feels like an eternity,” Hayley admits with a laugh. “By the time we leave for Europe I’ll be going crazy.”

Europe will then be going crazy for Hayley Williams. When the UK dates of Paramore’s arena tour went on sale at 9am on Septemeber 11, by 4pm 44,000 tickets had been snapped up across all dates, and all 12,500 tickets for the Tennessee quintet’s final gig of 2009 at London’s Wembley Arena on December 18 had been sold. The staff at Target in LA might not recognise Hayley just yet, but in this country Paramore’s vocalist is fast becoming an icon every bit recognisable as MCR’s Gerard Way or Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz: for rock fans such as kerrang.com user Ciara-Cupcake, posting on November 20, Hayley is simply “an inspiration.”

Talking to K!, Hayley modestly shrugs off any attempts to paint her as one of modern rock’s most significant new figureheads. But following a turbulent 12 months during which her band’s very existence was in jeopardy, today the singer admits, “I’m having more fun right now than I ever had doing what I’m doing.”

If you rewind 12 months, was the end of 2008 a particularly uncertain time for you?

“Yeah, it was. The guys and I weren’t really getting along, and through all the touring in 2008 it felt a bit rocky, I never really felt secure. And then we were supposed to get off the road and start writing a record, but while my heart was in it, I just didn’t know if it was really going to happen. It was weird because, personally, at home, hanging out with my friends, my personal life felt awesome, but anything to do with the band just felt really heavy. It sucked because I didn’t really feel like myself.”

On Brand New Eyes the lyrics to Looking Up – ‘could have given up so easily, I was a few cheap shots away from the end of me’ – suggest that you could have quit Paramore. With hindsight, how close do you think you were from walking away?

“Well, in hindsight, it feels a bit less dramatic than it probably really was, but I guess that’s the same with any situation. When we were writing that song it was one of the first songs we wrote for the record that wasn’t angry or mad, so when I sang the first verse to the dudes, it was almost like ‘Ahhh... deep breath... finally we can breathe’. There were a lot of things I said in the songs that I never said to the guys straight up, so when we finally wrote a song it was like, ‘Okay, good, now we can finally move on’. Those are some of my favourite lyrics ever, because it’s almost like we’d come full circle from the start of the song writing process. Now I’m so psyched when we play it every night, I feel like it’s proof that the song is so real because we’re standing up on the stage, happier than we’ve ever been.

Songs like Playing God suggest that you’re no-one’s pushover now...

“Playing God took on a different area of frustration where it had more to do with my faith. I felt really judged and I was feeling like people didn’t know me, and they don’t want to know me. I felt like everyone was looking at me like I was less than them.”

Within the band, or within your community?

“Within the band, and also just... Well, growing up the way I did in a Christian home – and I’m still a Christian – throughout the past five or six years we’ve heard all there is to hear about how we’re not doing faith right and we’re not acting right. So there was already that, but then when I started to feel it within my own band it was just like a last straw. I was, like ‘I don’t know if I can do this’. I can’t prove to people than I’m a good person, and I can’t show someone what I see through my own eyes.”

In the sleevenotes to Brand New Eyes you thank your mum and dad for being there for you and note that you had a lot of growing up to do in recent times. Do you feel like a different person now than you were a year ago?

“Absolutely. And even more so than the person that wrote Riot!. I just don’t really care if I don’t have all the answers anymore, I don’t really mind being wrong, I’m just hanging out and enjoying the ride. Where before everything just felt so urgent. Now this is straight-up my passion and I don’t have to stress about it.”

And what do you think you’ve learned about yourself over the past year?

“I’ve learned a lot about friendship and judgement and what it means to actually love someone unconditionally and be their friend, no matter what, even if it’s inconvenient at times. And I think that’s made me a better person or at least a stronger person, if not a better person.”

When things were rocky with the band, your management brought in a band therapist to initiate some conversations. Did you have some individual counselling?

“No, I didn’t. I’m not sure what the guys did, but I didn’t because I felt that the problems we were having were more about what my band was going through rather than me as a person. There are times when I felt really bummed, I was, like ‘We don’t need therapy, that’s stupid!’ because I was really embarrassed about it, but it wasn’t like that – we just went in and talked to a guy that we’ve known forever and i wasn’t so embarrassing anymore once it happened.”

You recently went public about your former three year relationship with Josh Farro. Why was it so important to you both to keep that relationship a secret in the first place?

“What’s funny about it is that it became a bigger deal for us than it would have been if it had been out the whole time. Really it was about us being in control of one aspect of out crazy lives, Being really young we were totally dumb and didn’t know what we were doing and we were, like, ‘Let’s now tell anyone, let’s keep it a secret’. But then it became such a burden. It sucked because we couldn’t be ourselves. I was 16 years old, and it was so stupid: we weren’t in high school, we were away from our parents, and yet we were still putting all these weird rules on our lives because of other people.”

Did you feel bad that you weren’t telling your fans the whole truth, given how much they trust you and look up to you?

“Yeah. I mean six month into it, it was nothing, but after a year and a half it was a big story that people were waiting to hear and we kept lying about it because it had gone on for so long. It was, like, ‘Well, we can’t come out now with it because we’d already been telling people that it wasn’t the truth.’ But I think once we broke up and things weren’t so dramatic it was, like, ‘Wow, it really wouldn’t have been a big deal at all to just tell people, yeah, we’re dating.’ The question is whether, if people had known, our break-up would have been a big deal to other people. And I’m really thankful that no-one knew for that reason.”

So there’s no awkwardness between you now?

“No. Josh and I are better friends than we would have ever been just dating each other. And in writing songs we just have a connection that you don’t find with anyone else.”

You post frequently on Livejournal and Twitter, but is it important for you to keep part of yourself back, for you alone?

“Yeah, and it’s becoming more and more important to me. It scares me in a way, because I don’t ever want to be that kid in the spotlight that’s closed off and acts weird and wants to isolate themselves. I’m really proud of the fact that we’ve been able to keep somewhat good heads on out shoulders and treat people normally because we’re normal. But since a lot of drama had been stirred up by our band not really getting along, and some of the content of songs, people are definitely into reading online about what I’m doing. And soon there’ll be paparazzi somewhere and I’ll be, like, ‘Really?. I’m not that person, go follow Ashlee Simpson, that’s not me, I’m not that girl for you.’ I don’t like being put in a position where I have to walk past you and pretend that you’re not there because if I do talk to you it’s gonna cost me a lot more than just a few words and a handshake. So it’s a little scary but, at the same time, I’m psyched that we’ve been able to go on for a long time being friends with our fans and I believe that we can keep it up.”

Do you feel pressure of being a role model?

“I definitely don’t want to be a role model. I’m all for our band having a positive influence on people and them using our music as on outlet, because that’s what we do, but I’m so far from perfect and I just want to make music and hang out... (Laughs). I don’t want people comparing themselves to me or thinking, ‘In order to be this or that, maybe I should do what Hayley does or be like Hayley.’ My faith is personal and my attitude is generally positive, but I’m defiantly not a role model.”

You spend a lot of time on the internet talking to fans, but you must see a lot of negative stuff too on there. Is it difficult to tune the haters out?

“Yeah, it is. Speaking of the difference between the person that I was and the person I am now, two years ago I’d have said that it doesn’t bother me and that I don’t care, and to a certain extent I don’t care about what anyone at all thinks of me, I am who I am with no apologies, but it does suck when you hear people saying things that are false, or that maybe don’t approve of. And then you realise that those people are the same age as you, or even younger, and you’re just like ‘Really?’. It’s really bizarre. When I go online and talk to fans or make posts, I like it when kids comment back because I like talking to people about things that I care about, like bands that I’m listening to right now, or what movies I’m into, just fun stuff. But when people bring up my personality and things that they don’t really know anything about, on any bad day that could get anyone down.”

What’s the craziest rumour you’ve read about yourself online?

“it’s still the ‘Hayley is pregnant’ rumour. That’s been going on since our band ever started. Apparently I’ve been pregnant at least five different times that I didn’t know about! It’s nuts! The last time I heard it was about nine months ago, So I guess I’d have had the kid by now! Someone was saying, ‘Yeah, Hayley’s pregnant and all the guys from New Found Glory are coming to Tennesee to aid in her pregnancy’. And then I was getting engaged and married – it was just crazy.”

Speaking of New Found Glory, what has Chad brought to your life?

“Without being super detailed, I definitely feel I can be 100 per cent myself with Chad. If I’m having a shitty day because something happened on tour, even if I can’t put it to words, he gets it, because he’s been there. The coolest thing is that we’re friends and we love each other. I don’t know what I would have done without him when I really didn’t have any of the other guys in the band to talk to.”

When you and Chad get to spend time together, what do you like to do?

“I don’t know. When we hang out, we just do whatever we want. We like going to see movies and we love hanging out with our friends, and we play card games. We totally sound like an old couple, right? But it’s always really fun.”

When you think back to how you imagined being in a band might be when you were in school, has it panned out like you thought it would?

“It became way more than I ever thought. It’s just been a crazy rollercoaster that hasn’t ever gone down. Jeremy and I were just sitting having a coffee the other night in Salt Lake City and we were just looking around thinking, ‘What are we doing so far away from home, about to play a show for thousands of people? What has our life become?’. It’s so cool and I don’t think I could ever take it for granted, though perhaps I might have at one point. I guess in the past I might never have really stepped back and thought ‘Wow, look at this’. I feel like it just keeps getting better.”

You turn 21 on December 27. How do you plan to celebrate?

“I don’t know what I’m doing actually. I’ll be home, I know that, and I have my first house now, so I don’t know if we’ll have a party there or what. I’m not like a rock star or anything, so it’ll probably be pretty simple.”

Do you feel older than 20?

“Yeah, I’ve always felt older than I am, just because I’m never around people my age. I think I relate better to people that have experienced more because I’m not sitting at my desk all day. I defiantly feel young but I think that I’ve been lucky to experience way more than most people that are 20 years old.”

No regrets then that you didn’t go through college or got a more normal job?

“No. I don’t think I would make it in college, I think I’d be awful at that. Regret is useless, I don’t regret anything.”

So what’s it like having your own place for the first time?

“it’s kinda cool. I lived with a roommate for a really long time; a couple of different roommates, so to finally have my own place is great. I guess that’s the most expensive thing that I’ve spent my money on.”

Have you made any particularly extravagant purchases since the royalty cheques started rolling in?

“I like getting ice cream! But really, no, I just put my money into hanging out with my friends and my family, going to movies and making little road trips and whatever. My dad has been wanting me to get a nice car – something really safe – and so I tried, but I wrecked it four or five times, so now I’m selling it and I’m driving the same car that I was driving since I was 15!”

Let’s project forward to December 18: you’re going to be standing in front of 12,500 people who’ve paid to see you sing at Wembley Arena. Presumably that’ll be a proper ‘pinch me’ moment?

“Oh, yeah! When our booking agent told me he was booking us into Wembley I told him he was crazy because it was never going to work, and then it sold out in a day! I can’t wait to be on that stage. What’s awesome is that we’ve got tons of friends on tour with us – we’ve known the You Me At Six dudes forever and the Paper Route guys are from Nashville, and Now, Now Every Children are new friends of mine, so it’s gonna be really, really cool to share that with people that I’m stoked to be around. After going through hardships with my relationship with the guys in the band, it’s going to be really awesome to celebrate the fact that we’ve done this together.”

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Comments (109)

Lover_Paramore says

(20110301T173455Z )

I know I'm a bit late but I really loved this interveiw :) thanks for posting it! X
*hil* says

(20100610T054630Z )

thanks so much! I hate missing all the interviews from Kerrang! because I'm in the US- I know it must have been a lot of work. And it was definately a great interview! But you are awesome!! Thanks again!
Mattrocks says

(20100610T050334Z )

Well done, brother :D

I know it must've been a b*tch to put together, so you deserve no small amount of praise for it :D

Here we find the key to Hayley - she knows that she isn't absolutely perfect and isn't all hoity-toity. She's been humble and is humble.

And that is why we love her and the band :D

'Nuff said. :D
ThisHeart_ItBeats says

(20100610T040952Z )

“I’ve learned a lot about friendship and judgement and what it means to actually love someone unconditionally and be their friend, no matter what, even if it’s inconvenient at times. And I think that’s made me a better person or at least a stronger person, if not a better person.”
That almost made me cry. I'm learning that same thing (the hard way) "inconvenient" doesn't even cover it... glad I'm not the only one who goes through hard friendships that you gotta stick through cuz you love the person so much.
Ahhhhh Hayley :')
EJBS says

(20100610T035421Z )

thank you SO much for this!!!
abigail♥carmichael says

(20100609T132851Z )

she may not want to be a role model, but to be honest, id LOVE to be like her :')
paramanda! says

(20100515T191827Z )

Yeah thanks!!! I've been looking for this forever. I couldn't find Kerrang! anywhere in stores.
gottaloveparamore says

(20100429T182317Z )

thank you sooo much that's soo nice of you to do that i've been looking for this article everywhere :D thanks again
Paramore_<3 says

(20100420T154541Z )

Thank you for that! I couldn't find it anywhere in stores or online!
tinybombs says

(20100420T064357Z )

wahaha. thank you so much dude! ^^
BornForPARAMORE says

(20100420T060137Z )

THANK YOU! What an awesome article - I think it's time to go ebay shopping...
=P
littletron5000 says

(20100420T052147Z )

Thanks for posting this! I've been looking for it! :)
Nobound122 says

(20100420T034854Z )

I was like YOU ARE AMAZING!

Hopefully this doesn't get taken down.
Nobound122 says

(20100420T034840Z )

I was like YOU ARE AMAZING!

Hopefully this doesn't get taken down.
♥charmaine♥ says

(20100419T173900Z )

hayley really changed alot.. but tnx for posting!